Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Back in the Saddle Again!

Hey folks,

After an exhausting book tour and tea parties, I had to take a break.
But now I'm back, and I'm part of the problem. I've joined the GOP!
Read more about it here.

Speaking of which, did you see what my girl Sarah tweeted about?
There's a write up here.
This is what she said:
Gulf: learn from Alaska's lesson w/foreign oil co's: don't naively trust- VERIFY. Livelihood affected by spill?Don't sign away remedy rights

There are couple of problems with this:
1) BP hired a lot of American's to build this platform. And run it. And I actually think Halliburton built it.
2) The correct quote from his greatness, Ronald Reagan, is "Trust, but verify". If a plumber can remember this, so can a beauty pagent queen.
3) Todd Palin use to work for BP.

I'm going to have to talk to her. She's becoming a major asshat.

Fake Joe

Saturday, May 16, 2009

How long can 15 minutes last?

These liberal asshats tricked me.
They said they wanted to ask me a about gay marriage (ick).
But then they asked me about my book, and how many copies I sold, etc.

Then they put my quotes out of context:

You gotta at least respect that I’m not sitting there trying to make a buck off my 15 minutes. Do I want to make some money? Absolutely but I’m going to do it the right way.

Not seeming to recognize the irony, immediately after making this statement, he then signed a copy of his book. While acknowledging that he hasn’t made as much money as he thought from the book, he said he thinks he has about a year left in the spotlight, adding, “I can also definitely see it from the other side where people are just like ‘Man just freakin go away!’”

I fooled them though. Speaking out about gay marriage gives me at least another 5 minutes. And I'm hoping to meet Miss California. She's hot.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Qutting the GOP

I tried to keep this on the down low, but those liberal media asshats at TIme magazine broke the story.

To wit:
Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he's so outraged by GOP overspending, he's quitting the party — and he's the bull's-eye of its target audience. But he also said he wouldn't support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits.

Who's up for joining the Plumber's Party

Monday, April 20, 2009

I was on TV!

I forgot I was on HBO with Bill Maher. See here.

I'm not a big fan of Bill, and I know he doesn't like me. But, to be fair, he was nice enough to me. As I walked off stage, I knew he could have torn me a new one. But he took it easy on me, and I appreciate that.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Turbo Tax Tim and Me

so some asshat is making fun of the fact that i think the tax code is too complicated.

what's wrong with this picture?
as i point out, turbo tax timmy, our treasury secretary, couldn't figure out that he owed taxes. he tried to blame it on turbo tax. if you look at that link, you'll see that turbo tax is made by a company called intuit. intuit has over 8000 employees. i figure on top of the computer people, they've got some accountants to tell them how things work. let's say 10% - so 800 accountants couldn't figure out the tax code. how the hell are you and i?

btw, i use another intuit product, quick books, for my plumbing business. it's because of quick books, that i thought i'd owe more taxes when i bought the business. which led me to asking obama that question. which led to me becoming famous. so if you don't like me, you can blame intuit.

let's make the tax code easier. flat tax all around. no exemptions.
and let's keep jobs in America by raising import taxes. it'll encourage companies to make stuff in the USA, instead of china or mexico, which in turn, will create more jobs.

Friday, April 17, 2009

This time I'm really back!

I was on the road so much, that I forgot my password.
Fortunately, I called Sarah and she reminded me what it was.

Anyway, I just came from this tea party and I was a little disappointed.
First, we didn't dump any tea or anything.
And as far I as I could tell, nobody wants to pay taxes, which is cool,but then they want the government to keep their jobs from going to China or Mexico, or where ever.

Hello? It's called FREE enterprise. It's not about Captain Kirk. If a company wants to move jobs to China to make more money, they should. You don't like it, get a new job like being a plumber, or work at Dominos farting on food.

On the plus side, sold some copies of my book.

Here's how the liberal media covered it:

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm back!

Sorry, it's been busy.
I was thinking of running for congress, and I had to go to Gaza.
And damn, if I didn't have a lot of pipes to fix.

Hanging out with Cindy a bit.