Help Buying Business

So, I'm watching TV last night and after hearing my name mentions like 500 times, John McCain says "Joe, I want to tell you, I'll not only help you buy that business blah blah blah taxes blah." To be honest, I didn't hear much after "help you buy that business"

I've been trying call John all day (except when the press keeps interrupting) to ask how's going to help me buy the business. I heard his wife is loaded (and pretty hot, wonder if she has a sister. or daughter). So I'm thinking that they might just buy the business for me, and pay the extra taxes after Obama get elected.

But, damn it all to hell, he won't return my voicemails. I even tried "special" number my cousin got from his father-in-law, Charlie. Charlie says back in the 80's John would always return his calls right away.

So John, if you're reading this, I think I'm going to need like $750K to buy this business, and pay the extra taxes that Obama is going to put on us. And I'll need a little extra for the taxes for your "gift".

Call me.